We had to wait for Donald Trump
To find out which white guys he’d dump;

And now he’s done with all suspense
And picked the Indiana guv, Mike Pence;

They’re quite a team, as we’ll soon see
The right wing of the GOP;

Chris Christie thought he might be hired
But then Trump told him, “Chris, you’re fired”‘

And Trump kept teasing Speaker Newt;
Until he gave the Newt the boot;

Does Pence share all The Donald’s views
Like “build that wall” and dissing Jews?

We know that both are anti-gay
And both support the NRA;

Pence thinks that smoking makes you healthy
And busting unions makes you wealthy;

Both avoided military service
But their views on war should make you nervous;

Trump always boasts, with much aplomb
He’s not afraid to drop the bomb;

Some thought that Trump would really care
That Pence still has all his own hair;

And keeps it gray, while Trump instead
Wears a toupee and dies it red;

Both Trump and Pence are real “pro-life”
But Pence has only had one wife;

Said Trump “we have four wives between us”
And then asked Pence “How big’s your penis?”

Once Pence said, “Don, mine’s pretty small”
That was enough to get the call.

-Peter Dreir